this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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