dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Liz is crying about burritos again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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