Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
