weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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