Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
