After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
