I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
