I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
