I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There r osticjed everywhere
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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