Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
