I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
