I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
