i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
