I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
