Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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