my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
