lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
