Already got asked if we're dating
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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