Ambien. No doubt about it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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