if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
