You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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