everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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