Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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