Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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