come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
