You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
