He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
