I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
