I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
