I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
