problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
