And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
pray to the hookup gods
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
