It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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