I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
