how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Farmville is her only friend.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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