there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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