Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
