atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
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