What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
