We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
