I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
