it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
