Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
When did we convert life to cartoon?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
