Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
