I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
