Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My penis needs a shock collar
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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