I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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