Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
