A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
