You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
