were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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